Illustration by Katrin Friedmann
The best things about dating someone who also has a period
Lesbians, transgender and queer people share their stories
There are many stereotypes about romance between two people with menstrual cycles. It’s a common belief that you can get “in sync,” although a recent study by Clue found that cycles are actually more likely to diverge (get out of sync) over time. This idea of syncing can be used to imply that it’s extra difficult to be in a relationship where both partners experience periods and PMS. Add to that homophobia, transphobia and taboos around period sex and things start to look grim. But that’s not the whole picture.
I’m currently seeing an absolute babe who always offers massages and delicious food when I’m on my period, who was understanding when I bled all over their sheets and mattress, and who regularly lends me tampons and underwear. They even found an offer for two-for-the-price-of-one menstrual cups, bought two, and gave me one. I feel hashtag blessed, but surely I’m not the only lucky one. I asked other Clue users about their experiences of dating someone with a cycle. Here’s what they had to say:
“She doesn’t get her period often, but she knows how much pain I endure, so she understands how yucky it can feel. She massages my back and helps warm me up to get rid of cramps and it creates a much more intimate bond!” - Lyzette
“I feel like she understands my PMS because she also has it. Also, we can just have a bunch of chocolate and not judge each other!” - Anonymous
“They literally know exactly what I’m going though and don’t have an issue talking about it or changing plans based on my needs.” - Olivia
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“There’s a certain bond when you have empathy for a partner with their period. You know it sucks but you can do your best to support and uplift them. It can be difficult if/when you sync up, but it’s worth it in the end.” - Anonymous
“[I like] being super open about it, telling them when it starts, complaining that I spilled blood on the floor from a menstrual cup, openly whining about cramps, etc. You get very comfortable having period sex when both parties have a chance of bleeding at any given moment.” - Anonymous
“[The best thing is] dating someone who gets it. Sex is great 98% of the time. The 2% is when both of you are menstruating and can’t do much.“ - Laura
“It’s affirming and comforting to have a partner who can validate your feelings and experiences with monthly pain because they’ve experienced it as well.” - Anonymous
“We are never out of painkillers, and sympathy and cuddles are always on offer because we both know how bad it can get.” - Jill
“Having the other person understand what you’re going through and being able to share things. For example: they’ll know what tampons to buy. They’ll be compassionate if you’re being crabby or emotional because they were too a couple of weeks ago. They’ll buy you pizza… “ - Anonymous
“I’ve never had an ex-boyfriend take care of me like my girlfriend has —completely unnecessary things, but they just make that time so much nicer. And then I do the same for her, and our relationship just grows so much better.” - Amelia
“The best thing about dating someone else with a menstrual cycle is: Understanding and being understood.” - Anonymous
Feeling the love? Download Clue to track your cycle and use Clue Connect if you want to share your PMS, ovulation or period tracking with your sweetheart.
Clue helps you understand your cycle so you can discover how to live a full and healthy life. #NowYouKnow
